I Just Want to Fix It: How to Help your Stressed Out Partner
Every person experiences hardships and stress from various sources, such as friendships, employment, health issues, or parenting. These stressors can create feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, sadness, confusion, and helplessness, and create physical health issues including breathing issues, inability to sleep, muscle tension, headaches, and so on. When people are struggling, it is perfectly natural to turn to our significant other to find relief and support. However, there are times when reaching out leads to pain or annoyance.
The Importance of Physical Intimacy in Your Marriage
One of the most notable changes couples see after living together for awhile, and especially after having children, is the lack of physical intimacy between them. Physical intimacy and sexual intimacy are used interchangeably, but in actuality these two intimacies are very different. Knowing what physical intimacy is and how it impacts other areas of your relationship is important if a couple wants to build a healthy, lasting and loving connection with one another.
Embracing Radical Acceptance: A Path to Inner Peace
Radical acceptance is both a concept and skill that involves acknowledging and embracing reality as it is, even when the reality is difficult or painful. Radical acceptance is a concept utilized in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) as a distress tolerance skill. Understanding and implementing this skill does not mean that we approve of the blunt reality - we may hate it! What it means is that we are willing to lean in to the blunt reality in order to allow ourselves to more quickly and resiliently move on to focus our internal and external resources towards more values-consistent behaviors.
Journaling for Mental Health: What Do I Even Write About?
Journaling can sometimes feel like one of those clichés therapists or friends recommend to clients who are wanting support between sessions, but a lot of times we can sit down in front of a blank page and have no idea where to start. Here are some prompts to get you started.
A Therapist’s Top Three Recommended Resources
If you happen to be on a journey of personal growth and self-empowerment, here are three titles I highly recommend to help you along the way.
How to “Ground” Your Child
While you won’t be getting any discipline tips, the mindfulness and grounding techniques for kids presented here pose many benefits for you and your child, including allowing your child to be more present especially when becoming behaviorally or emotionally dysregulated.
Book Review: Come Together
Emily Nagoski, PhD, is the author of Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science that will Transform Your Sex Life. If you haven’t already read it, I highly recommend it. Her first book was aimed at women, but as a sex therapist I found the information so helpful for men who are partnered with women, so I often encourage my male clients to read it. Well, now there’s a book specifically for couples. Come Together: the Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections
Turn to Face the Change: How Therapy Helps People Make Positive Change Daily
One of the most important factors of making change with therapy is the therapeutic relationship. The therapeutic relationship is the trust you have with your therapist. It is what makes you feel comfortable with him/her as you come frequently without judgment of what you have going on.
4 Ways to Help a Loved One with an Eating Disorder
Here are 5 suggestions, from a therapist, to use when trying to help a friend or loved one that you suspect may be struggling with an eating disorder.
Emotionally Focused Therapy: A Compassionate Approach to Reducing Shame
Shame is a complex and powerful emotion that can have a profound impact on our lives. From the perspective of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), shame is often intricately connected to our sense of self and our relationships with others. In this blog post, our focus will be on understanding how shame arises when we perceive ourselves as different from those in our environment, and how embracing the principles of EFT can help individuals reduce shame and foster a sense of connection.
What Are The Benefits of Play Therapy?
As a child therapist I’m often asked by parents what play therapy even is and what the benefits are. Just like when restaurants offer a children’s menu and an adult’s menu, what children need from therapy will look different to what adults need. As adults we are used to talk therapy where maybe we come in, sit down, talk about what’s going on and leave with ideas and tools. But play therapy can be very different from that. Why? Because play is the language of children.
How to Help a Loved One Grieve
Losing a loved one is difficult, painful, and lonely. Watching someone you love grieve is also a difficult place to be in. This is for you if you’re trying to help your spouse through grief or a loved one who is grieving. Here are a few tips to remember when helping your grieving loved one.
Are We Compatible? Relationship Advice For How Couples Can Fight Fair
If you’ve ever wondered if your conflict is normal, the truth is healthy couples have conflicts. Follow this relationship advice to learn how to fight fair in your marriage and create a better bond and relationship.
The Sexy Narrative
If you are struggling with an unhelpful narrative surrounding sex, give yourself a break. You aren’t broken. You’re doing the best you can with the narratives you’ve been given. Here are tips from sex therapist, Dr. Alice Roberts that may lead to increased peace and pleasure surrounding sex.
4 Ways to Celebrate Mental Wellness Month
January is mental wellness month: It’s the perfect time to shift your focus from the holidays to your own personal well-being. These four activities and practices can help you boost your mental wellness this month.
10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Throwing In the Towel on Your Marriage
Making the decision to stay or leave your marriage may seem overwhelming in the wake of a revealed affair or other traumatizing event. It’s normal upon hearing that a spouse has been unfaithful to assume the marriage is over and that the love you once shared is gone forever. Both partners may feel highly emotional and perhaps hopeless about their future together.
Dr. Julie Hanks Responds to Meridian Magazine's 8 Things That Can Pull You Away from the Church
Dr. Julie Hanks When I read Meridian Magazine’s article 8 Things that Can Pull You Away from the Church yesterday morning my heart sank. Not because I disagree with the author's suggestions of ways strengthen one’s faith, but because it oversimplifies the complex process individuals go through when they decide to distance from or to leave the LDS Church.
The Power of Self-Compassion
Having compassion for yourself is treating yourself with kindness, forgiveness, grace, and love, just as you would a family member or friend who you care deeply about. Having self-compassion includes nurturing patience and care for the unwanted parts of yourself, the imperfections that bring embarrassment or shame. It's having an understanding of your human-ness, and it is allowing the truth that your mistakes are stepping stones to growth. And self-compassion can be a gateway to deep inner healing and hope.
What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and How Can It Help You?
ACT is one model of psychotherapy that is considered a “third wave” approach, or branch off, of CBT. Most of us have heard of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and look for therapists who use CBT to treat a variety of mental health concerns. The ACT model aims to help individuals achieve psychological flexibility.
Am I an Empath?
An empath is often described as one who identifies with another person’s emotions as if they were their own. This personality trait goes beyond the usual definitions of relating to others. For example, being sympathetic is merely understanding another’s experience. Empathy moves beyond this definition, where somebody feels for or with another person.