About Love, Trust, and Marriage
Fixing a broken marriage is not easy. Unconditional love is a choice we make, but trust is not unconditional. It must be patiently and painstakingly rebuilt. A skilled couples’ therapist can guide a couple in crisis through the process, building transparency, emotional openness and intimacy, and other components that facilitate trust.
Building Love Maps with Your Partner: Strengthening Your Relationship from the Inside Out
One of the most powerful tools I encourage couples to use in their relationships is the concept of "love maps." Developed by Dr. John Gottman, love maps refer to each partner's mental map of the other person, including the details, dreams, preferences, and personal history that shape their identity. Building and nurturing these maps can significantly enhance emotional intimacy and deepen your connection with your partner.
Exploring Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Unmet Needs in Relationships
Relationships are complex, deeply rewarding, and occasionally fraught with challenges that can feel insurmountable. As couples navigate the ups and downs of life together, they often encounter moments when the relationship feels disconnected or stuck. This is where Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) can offer profound insights and healing.
EFT for Couples Therapy
I feel alone, and hurt and I do not know if I matter to you, and that is terrifying. I am feeling vulnerable and I need you to respond to me, but because I am feeling lost I do not know how to reach you.
Being a “Nice Guy” Might be Ruining Your Relationship
There are huge numbers of young men that we can describe as kind, giving and caring. The confusion for these men sets in after marriage, when these Nice Guys can’t understand why their wives don’t see them for “who they really are.”
Healing From Betrayal and Developing Healthy Intimacy
Humans need relationships. From infancy, we learn to depend on others for our wellbeing. As we grow we become more independent, however even as adults we need relationships to create a strong sense of self and a secure base we can fall back on when bad things happen. According to Dr. Freyd, “Betrayal trauma occurs when the people or institutions on which a person depends for survival significantly violate that person’s trust or well-being” (2008).
I Just Want to Fix It: How to Help your Stressed Out Partner
Every person experiences hardships and stress from various sources, such as friendships, employment, health issues, or parenting. These stressors can create feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, sadness, confusion, and helplessness, and create physical health issues including breathing issues, inability to sleep, muscle tension, headaches, and so on. When people are struggling, it is perfectly natural to turn to our significant other to find relief and support. However, there are times when reaching out leads to pain or annoyance.
Emotional Connection
Emotional connection is a form of vulnerability and intimacy that couples need to have in order to maintain healthy and secure attachments. It is more than saying “I love you” or having consensual sexual relations with your partner, but it is allowing your partner to see and be present with you in all forms of emotion, including ones that require vulnerability, such as pain, sadness, shame, loneliness, or fear. These emotions can come from our personal triggers, unresolved past experiences, or attachment needs not being met. However, sharing and understanding one’s emotions can be difficult and does not come easily for everyone.
Want To Know the Secret to a Happy Marriage?
Surprisingly, the answer ISN’T a lack of conflict between a couple. Whether it’s about not having enough sex, the dirty laundry, or spending too much money, conflict is inevitable in every marriage. Happiness lies in the “positive affect” a couple has during the conflict. So what does that mean?
The What and Why of Couples Therapy
Couples therapy is a form of therapy that helps couples improve their relationship and work through challenges they may face. It's important to note that the goal of couples therapy is not to keep a couple married or encourage them to get divorced. Instead, it's about providing a safe space for couples to heal wounds, gain insight, and work on their relationship.
“We Need to Work on Communication” - Every Couple Ever
Andrea Martin, CSW write a blog on how to communicate.