5 Common Marriage Questions Answered: Good Things Utah
Every married couple has problems, so why is it that when we're struggling in our marriages we can feel so alone? I recently sat down with the ladies of "Good Things Utah" to answer some marriage questions that viewers had written in.
The Three Communication Styles: Good Things Utah
One of the biggest problems in marriage is poor communication. There's so much emotional history and baggage, and both people have thoughts, feelings, and need that can cloud the situation, so it's easy to miss each other. It's important to understand three distinct communication styles and how they can hinder or help our ability to connect with each other.
Avoiding Unrighteous Dominion: Mormon Marriages Podcast
I recently sat down with Nate and Angilyn Bagley to discuss issues relating to unrighteous dominion in marriages. This phrase comes from the scripture in Doctrine & Covenants 121:9 that reads, "[w]e have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority...they will begin to recognize unrighteous dominion."
A Healer's Healing Journey: Mormon Matters Podcast
I sat down with my friend and host of Mormon Matters podcast, Dan Wotherspoon for a one-on-one interview about my own life and faith journey. Talk about vulnerable. I often talk about specific topics as an "expert" but rarely interview solely about my own life and faith process.Here's a snippet of how Dan Wotherspoon describes this episode: "She has faced heartbreak and sadness, loss of a sense of her own place within the universe and God’s plan, difficulties navigating career and family and church and all it’s pre-prescribed roles for women, and much more. All of these, however, have been essential in her becoming such an effective therapist and insightful and sought-after teacher and speaker. In this in-depth interview about her life and careers, and her family and church lives, as well, Julie allows us a glimpse into her own journey with faith and Mormonism and how, through many difficulties, she has come to the grounding she has found—a sense of calling to this particular life among these particular people. As you listen, I know that you’ll be moved by her story, her emotion, her courage, and her emergence as a healer extraordinaire."
Answering Your Questions About Balancing Marriage & Motherhood: Good Things Utah
I recently had the opportunity to sit down with my friends at "Good Things Utah" and answer some viewer questions that dealt with balancing a woman's marriage with her motherhood responsibilities. Here are some questions (and my responses to them):
Invisible Labor: Valuing the Unseen Contributions of Mormon Women
Several months ago, a family member recounted a small but powerful scenario that happened in her Sacrament Meeting. While conducting the meeting, the bishop acknowledged that one of his counselors was not present on the stand; his counselor’s wife was ill and he was sitting in the pews with his children. Interestingly, not once was the man’s spouse acknowledged for sitting alone with her children week after week while her husband sat on the stand. Why? Because women are expected to perform the bulk of the invisible labor required for maintaining relationships.
Mormon Bishops Are Not Therapists: KUER News
In the fallout of the news that former White House Staff Secretary Rob Porter was physically violent to both his ex-wives, some have begun to question the wisdom of LDS Bishops counseling women in abusive relationships (reports indicate both women were encouraged to stay with their husbands). Working with women in private practice, I've heard of this kind of thing happening. It's embarrassing, it's infuriating, and it's my hope that this cultural moment of awareness and the #MeToo movement can spark social change. I shared some of my thoughts on this subject with KUER news.
LDS Bishops' Interviews & Sexuality: Mormon Land Podcast
The #MeToo hashtag (and the subsequent exposing of many high-profile figures as sexual predators) has given us as a society a lot to grapple with. From a Latter-day Saint perspective, some are questioning how appropriate it is for bishops to be talking about sexual matters with young people (particularly girls). I recently sat down with former LDS bishop Richard Ostler to talk about these critical issues for the Mormon Land Podcast. Here are some highlights from our discussion:
4 Common Marriage Myths: Good Things Utah
Marriage is one of the most important relationships, but it can also be one of the most confusing! There are so many false beliefs perpetuating about what a good marriage really looks like. And while we may know in our minds that other couples have struggles as well, it's not always something we talk about. Here are 4 common marriage myths:
How To Support A Spouse With Mental Illness: Good Things Utah
In any given year, 1 in 5 Americans experiences mental illness of some kind (depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc.). Clearly, this is an issue that affects a great deal of us, particularly the loved ones of those suffering. And mental illness is more than just an individual problem; it is a family concern. Here are some ways to support a spouse or partner with mental illness:
Our Definition of "Good Mothering" is Bad For Mental Health
Preparing to be a “good mother” is emphasized in Primary, Young Women’s, and continues as a central thread woven throughout Relief Society lessons and discussions. Unfortunately, it turns out that many of our beliefs about “good mothering” are correlated with poor maternal mental health. When I first read findings from a study published in The Journal of Child and Family Studies that suggest that five specific beliefs about mothering–essentialism, fulfillment, stimulation, challenging, and child-centered–are correlated with poorer mental health among mothers with young children, I thought to myself, “These beliefs align with how we, in America, and in LDS culture define good mothering!”
Assertiveness for Women Entrepreneurs
Sometimes when women have a hard time standing up for themselves, they think it's because of a personal weakness or deficiency. Nicole and I talked about how this tendency is actually representative of a larger cultural context: for the vast majority of recorded history, women have had their voices silenced, and it is only within the last century that we've really been able to reclaim ou
