How to Connect Using Gottman's Love Maps

John Gottman is a world renowned therapist that specializes in marriage therapy. I use several of his ideas and techniques when working with couples. Today, I want to share the idea of Love Maps with you.

Gottman talks about a marriage like a house. It is built from the foundation up. When the foundation is shaky, it creates instability in many other areas of the relationship. One way to strengthen your marriage foundation is to create a shared meaning and have good emotional intimacy. Love maps are a great place to start in creating this emotional intimacy. I have listed the questions to create a love map. The challenge is to sit down with your spouse and see how many questions they can answer. If they get the answer wrong, it creates a time that you can share thoughts and feelings in a safe way. Try it with your spouse! It will create a wonderful time of connection.

-Name my two closest friends.

-What was I wearing when we first met?

-Name one of my hobbies.

-What stresses am I facing right now?

-Describe in detail what I did today, or yesterday.

-What is my fondest unrealized dream?

-What is one of my greatest fears?

-What is my favorite way to spend an evening?

-What is my favorite way to be soothed?

-What is my favorite get away place?

-What are some of the important events coming up in my life? How do I feel

about them?

-What are some of my favorite ways to work out?

-What medical problems do I worry about?

-What was my most embarrassing moment?

-Name one of my favorite movies.

-What is my favorite restaurant?

Rachel is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She loves working with couples in distress, and those looking to make their relationship better.

Call 801-944-4555 and make an appointment to find new ways to strengthen your relationship.