10 Suggestions That May Be Helpful To Offer Support To Grieving Friends Or Family.

1. Mention their name. It won’t remind them of their loss. They have not forgotten!

2. Avoid the clichés that minimize the tragedy. Statements like,” they are in a better place” or you’ll feel better in time”.

3. Cry with the mourners if you are so moved. It’s called empathy.

4. Gentle touches, warm embraces, and a hand-held are comforting gestures to replace words when there are no adequate words.

5. Accept the family’s decisions, regardless of whether you agree.

6. Respect the time frame of each individual grieving

7. Give special attention to the siblings, they are grieving also, and are often forgotten.

8.No one has to be strong for anyone else.

9. Expect any milestones, graduation, wedding, anniversary, holiday, or special occasion to evoke longing. Acknowledge that in the years to come. 

10. Keep in touch. Call, write or visit forever after.

Grief and loss are the one thing that as humans we can not prepare for. Even harder is hearing about or being faced with a moment of grief. At times we all have faced this. Take for instance, you are in the grocery store and run into an old friend who tells you that their spouse was just diagnosed with cancer and may not live out the year. We are often unprepared for our own grief let alone a surprise attack. This is why we sometimes will fumble over our words, say something that does not make sense, or worse off just say "sorry" without out any context. Embedding of trauma arises not only from the nature of the event, but also from who is there with us before, during, and after the event happens.