20 Years with Harry Potter: 3 Important Lessons I’ve Learned About Anxiety from the Films
At the end of 2021, we celebrated the 20th anniversary of the Harry Potter films. If you’re like me, then you probably rewatched all of the movies and maybe even reread the Harry Potter books. Maybe - just MAYBE - you even hand-crafted your own wand (or, if you don’t have the time to do that, you visited Harry Potter World at Universal Studios and purchased a wand that chose you in Olivander’s shop). Whatever you did to celebrate, or not celebrate, please know that you are in good company.
I grew up with Harry Potter. I remember being 11 years old when the first film came out in movie theaters. This was so exciting because I remember thinking that the characters in the films were 11 years old when they first arrived at Hogwarts - I was the exact age needed to receive a letter to attend Hogwarts. Unfortunately, I did not receive my letter to Hogwarts and I’ve slowly accepted this over the years. Fortunately, I have developed a deep connection with the characters because of that initial connection I made with them when I was 11 years old.
One thing you should know about me is that I’m a huge nerd. I love fantasy stories and using my imagination. Throughout my experience as a therapist, I’ve often linked different therapeutic concepts back to nerdy TV shows or books that interested me. Harry Potter is one of my favorite fantasy stories to refer back to when talking to myself and my clients about anxiety.
Anxiety can take on many shapes, sizes, textures and sounds. It can literally adapt, just like a boggart, into whatever it needs to be in order to provide a sense of control and safety (even if there is nothing to be worried about in the first place). One thing I know about anxiety is that it can play games with your brain, teaching your brain messages about the world that are just FALSE. My hope is to help share with you what I’ve learned about anxiety from the world of Harry Potter.
Lesson #1: Avoiding things because of what anxiety tells you might seem like a good idea at the moment, but it can often make things worse.
What first comes to my mind with Harry Potter is that most people in the first book and movie are absolutely terrified of saying Voldemort’s name. Instead of calling him by name, he is referred to as “He Who Must Not Be Named.” I want to take a moment to validate the fears and worries of those who avoid using his real name - Voldemort was, and is, a dangerous, dark wizard. However, by avoiding saying his name, people are teaching their brains that Voldemort’s name ALL BY ITSELF is dangerous. I don’t recall any moments in the books or movies where saying his name actually led to danger itself. What I noticed occurring more often than not was that avoiding saying the name Voldemort actually gave Voldemort more power. People avoided talking about him at all, which led to an avoidance of admitting that he was actually something that needed to be dealt with in the present moment. Avoiding saying his name reminds me of when I used to put my hands over my eyes as a kid and pretend that the shadows on the walls in my bedroom I was scared of weren’t there…. Having my hands over my eyes didn’t actually change the fact that there were shadows on my walls. Instead of learning how to deal with my anxiety and the fear of the shadows, I only fed the anxiety that made my worries about shadows even bigger.
Lesson #2: If I can’t avoid something, or if I’m choosing not to avoid something, it is super important to accept reality as it is, without resisting the truth.
Oof - it’s hard to accept things that we don’t want to accept. And denying reality as it is will also only give more power to anxiety instead of to yourself. My favorite image from Harry Potter that comes to mind here is when Harry, Ron and Hermoine are trapped in the Devil’s Snare in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. As a reminder, the Devil’s Snare is a huge pit of vines that wrap around you and can pull tighter around you, like a boa constrictor, the more you resist them. Harry and Hermoine are able to free themselves of the Devil’s Snare quickly because they are able to practice relaxing into the moment, even though they are internally freaking out. In my mind, they are accepting the blunt reality that they are trapped in the Devil’s Snare and need to respond a certain way in order to be freed. Ron, on the other hand, panics by screaming and moving around a lot. This causes the vines to wrap around Ron even stronger, which risks Ron being strangled by the vines due to his resistance.
If we all act like Ron whenever we feel anxiety or worry, we will absolutely make our lives harder and cause ourselves to suffer more. Don’t get me wrong - Ron’s response was also totally normal and understandable. I’d be freaking out too if I fell into a pit of vines that were trapping my limbs from being able to move. It’s important to be able to identify when there is nothing you can do to change a situation without making the situation worse. This is where acceptance comes in. Accepting reality as it is does NOT mean that you like the reality or have brought the reality upon yourself. All it means is that you are willing to set aside the stubborn part of your brain that wants to stomp its feet and cross it’s arms, like a kid, until it gets what it wants, in order to be able to effectively respond to a situation. I might feel more anxiety when I practice accepting things as they are, AND the increase in anxiety may be something I need to feel in order to gain control over myself and my anxiety.
Lesson #3: It is normal to make mistakes and not be perfect. Anxiety will tell you that making mistakes is catastrophic, but you get to choose whether you listen to what anxiety tells you or decide to tell yourself something different.
Anxiety has always loved to tell me that I need to be perfect, make the “right” decisions and be some sort of superhuman (even though I know in my heart that, and can accept that, I am a pure muggle with no superpowers). When I’ve listened to anxiety in the past, any mistake I made felt like a catastrophic failure - like something terrible would happen. I kid you not, Hermoine’s memorable quote of fearing being expelled rather than killed spoke to me SO LOUD when I was a kid.
Hermoine was actually the character that taught me a lot in this arena of choosing not to entertain anxiety and perfectionism and, instead, choosing to be human. Once Hermoine was able to accept others’ flaws and her own humanness, rather than worrying about being the perfect student or worrying about whether she was the smartest person in the room, she was actually able to make solid, lasting friendships. Not only that, but Hermoine also was able to take more risks in her life to be able to help Harry and Ron throughout their journeys because her anxiety was no longer making the big decisions - she was!
Overall, facing our fears is never easy.
It is so much easier to run away than it is to approach something that you are afraid of. Most people actually choose to stay miserable in their fears, or run away, often prolonging suffering or making the situation worse. When something is important to you, anxiety will try to find a way to take this from you. This is important to point out because once something is important to you, there is a chance that you may lose it or something might happen to it that is out of your control. My initial reaction is, “How devastating!” After further thought, my reaction shifts to, “How amazing!” Our thoughts, physical sensations and emotions can help us figure out what is actually important to us through anxiety. Anxiety is like a boggart that follows us around all over the place, helping us practice skills to face things our worst fears, things we never thought we could face. I’m grateful to have the Harry Potter books and films to lean on to remind me of the power of anxiety, but also the power of my own ability to master my anxiety in order to help others with their anxiety.
