Progress Over Perfection

I love this quote when it comes to progress over perfection.“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.” - Sophia Bush 

When working with clients, I often hear them say phrases like, “I feel like I’m getting there, but I’m not there yet.” I believe what they mean is that they feel they’re making progress, but they haven’t reached their idea of a mythical place/moment/state when they’ve made it past struggle and can live in peace, happiness, joy, and zero stress. Forever and ever, til the end of time. Ta-da!! 

Put like that, it sounds silly, right? But how often do you focus on making it “there” instead of realizing that the process is about PROGRESS, not perfection? The truth is that there is no “there,” no moment when you’ll reach perfection, free from effort. Life is always changing, you are always changing, and regardless of your very best efforts, perfection is impossible. Since perfection doesn’t exist, striving for it leads to failure, disappointment, and shame. Focusing on progress instead of perfection can make it easier to feel proud, competent, and prepared for your own personal path, as well as allow for self-compassion and patience as you evolve. 

Strategies to Shift From Perfection to a Progress Mindset

Use the following strategies as you’re working to shift from perfection to a progress mindset.

Challenge Negative Self-talk
Notice when you’re being self-critical, and try to replace those thoughts with loving, helpful statements, the way you would talk to a friend of loved one. “I’m doing a good job. I’m allowed to struggle. This feeling won’t last forever. I have compassion for myself.” Even if you don’t believe the statements at first, keep trying to shift to a place of patience and love for yourself as you go through the ups and downs of life. 

Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is turning your awareness to what is happening in the present moment, including what you’re sensing and feeling, without interpretation or judgment. To practice mindfulness, focus on the present moment instead of ruminating on the past or the future. You can practice breathing exercises, do a body scan, engage your senses, or repeat mantras such as “Acceptance in this moment” or “I am here now.” Being present allows you to release persistent, spinning worries about perfection and allows you to take life one moment at a time. 

Practice Acceptance of Good Enough
How often do you hold yourself to an unrealistic ideal? How often do you compare your life and struggles to everyone’s highlight reels and shiny moments? How often do you put others on a pedestal while condemning yourself? In this day and age, comparison and seeming-perfection are everywhere. Remind yourself that those images are not real, and remember that you’re doing better than you think you are. Make a list on paper or in your mind of all of the things you’re handling well in your life, and give yourself credit for it all! 

Listen to and honor yourself
Struggling is NOT a sign that you’re doing something wrong, it’s simply a sign that you’re a human being alive in this world! When you’re going through a tougher time, listen to and honor what you need. Allow self-care days when you lessen expectations for yourself, knowing that ebbs and flows are natural parts of humanity. Remember, you are in a state of progress at all times - you couldn’t stay static or go back to where you’ve been even if you tried! 

How to Embrace Progress Over Perfection

The journey from perfectionism to embracing progress can lead to true growth and fulfillment. As you value progress overreaching that mystical point of “there,” you can learn from each experience and move forward with self-compassion, resilience, adaptivity, and patience. Embrace your humanity, celebrate each step forward, and know that you’re doing an amazing job. 

If you need some additional help embracing progress over perfection, it may be time to make an appointment with a therapist. Wasatch Family Therapy has some of the best therapists in Utah and would be honored to help you and your loved ones. Fill out this appointment request form or text or call us at 801.944.4555 to schedule your appointment.