Mental Health and Shared Custody: Tips for if you’re struggling with co-parenting
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
Owner and founder of Utah therapy clinic Wasatch Family Therapy, Dr. Julie Hanks recently appeared on Good Things Utah with tips on the mental health of parents who share custody of their children. Keep reading to read the co-parenting tips shared by Utah therapist Dr. Julie Hanks.
Tips for Parents With Shared Custody
The truth is co-parenting can be difficult. You are only able to see your children part of the time. You may be navigating life as a single parent when you do have them. There may be a new step-parent in the picture. It’s important to protect your mental health and provide a mentally stable home for your children during your co-parenting journey. Here are five tips for co-parenting and parents who share custody of their children.
Be Open and Honest About The Challenges
You do not have to be on your co-parenting journey alone. Find a support group online, seek therapy, find friends who’ve gone through it, or talk with family. Opening up and talking to others about your experience with shared custody can be beneficial for you and the person you are speaking with.
Make Swapping Homes Peaceful
Create a safe zone for when your children are swapping homes. It’s very important to save your difficult discussions for when your children are not around. They do not need to see any hostility or negativity from either parent. Any negative thing you say about your child’s parent goes through them first before it goes to your ex-spouse. Make swapping homes peaceful for them.
Avoid Negative Talk About Your Co-Parent
It’s okay if your kids don’t understand why you got divorced. If they don’t see it your way, that’s okay. It’s not your job to convince your child that your ex is the bad guy. It’s your job to help nurture that relationship. Your child is half of you and half of your ex. So anything you say negatively about your ex you’re saying negatively about half of your child.
Provide Stability With Transitional Objects
Allow your child to have an object that they are able to take back and forth between their parents’ homes. This could be a picture of each of the parents, a stuffed animal, a special blanket, or anything that helps bridge the gap between the child’s living situation.
Your Child’s Well Being Should be Prioritized
When adults are in pain, we often revert to lower levels of coping skills, so this can be difficult. However, it’s important to remember that your child has to come first. Be flexible about what your child needs. Your child may need to spend extra time with the other parent for a season, so be open to that thought. Remember your child should never be used to get “information” from their other parent or step-parent.
Click here to watch the entire interview segment.
Resources for Parents and Children
There is no shame in seeking therapy if you and/or your child are struggling after divorce. Navigating this new season of life will take time and may come with pain. For family therapy in Utah, play therapy, or individual therapy, the compassionate and caring team of therapists at Wasatch Family Therapy is ready to support you on your journey. Schedule your appointment today by texting or calling 801.944.4555 or filling out this contact form.
