Communicating With Your Teenager
Parent-teenager communication has been an ongoing issue for decades and with social media, as well as texting, being the preferred platform of communication for teenagers the issue is likely to continue. As a therapist that has worked within a residential setting for over 20 years communication patterns have changed, and not necessarily for the better. Below are some of the strategies that I have employed over the years that seem to have assisted in improving communication with the teenagers with whom I work and could be beneficial to parents.
Strategies:
Listen: too often during communication we are waiting for the opportunity to speak rather than truly listening to what a teen is attempting to communicate.
Body Language: learning to recognize messages being conveyed by a person’s body language can assist in avoiding conflict.
Avoid lecturing: who really wants to sit and be lectured after making a mistake; we as humans want to avoid unpleasant emotions and situations whenever possible.
Ask questions: challenge your teen with probing and opened questions to improve on problem-solving skills as well as improving perspective skills.
Readiness: be sure you are ready to deliver the message/information in an effective manner and ask your teen if they are ready to receive the message/information.
Humor: This is perhaps my most utilized strategy simply because most, not all, teens want to laugh and have fun, so bringing some humor into your communication patterns can be beneficial.
Educate: be willing to educate yourself on the lingo being used by teenagers such as learning abbreviations of words, synonyms, and different “slang” words; however, be ready to set boundaries with the teen.
Understand that I am not claiming that these strategies will eliminate parent-teen communication issues; however, I believe the strategies will improve the communication patterns. One strategy that I failed to list is not one of my own; Stephen Covey’s Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. Best of luck and remember no matter how difficult communication may become, remember the goal is to maintain a healthy relationship with your teen.
