Exploring Faith Transition Through the Lens of Cognitive Dissonance
Thinking about faith transition through the social-psychological lens of cognitive dissonance can help us understand the painful process of changing beliefs. Cognitive dissonance is a theory developed by Leon Festinger in 1957.
What is Cognitive Dissonance?
Part of dissonance theory is the understanding that people who are holding conflicting beliefs and/or beliefs and behaviors will suffer. They will experience psychological distress and will attempt to resolve it by changing their beliefs, behaviors or both. For example, a person who is having an affair may believe it is wrong to have an affair. They will regularly be confronted with the dissonance of thinking affairs are bad and engaging in that behavior is therefore wrong and guilt-inducing. They may attempt to resolve the dissonance by changing the behavior (i.e., ending the affair) or changing their beliefs to continue the affair. They may tell themselves stories like, “My wife does not like having sex with me anyway, so maybe she’d be relieved.” Or “It only happens on rare occasions, so it is not that bad.” They will mentally work to resolve the dissonance in order to reduce the pain of holding misaligned beliefs and behaviors.
Faith Transitions and Cognitive Dissonance
In the context of religious deconstruction, a believer has maintained strong beliefs, which they may have interpreted as truths. As believers are exposed to new ideas or concepts, they may experience cognitive dissonance. They will likely struggle holding the old belief and the new conflicting information. This is extremely psychologically painful, inducing feelings of anger, frustration, hopelessness, shame, disgust, etc.
Imagine a believer who has venerated a church leader. They learn that this leader practiced behaviors that are out of alignment with their values. They attempt to hold the conflicting belief that people who do that behavior are “bad” and very much want to believe that this leader was good. How might they go about resolving the dissonance? They may put behavior in a historical context that normalizes certain behaviors during a particular timeframe. They may adjust their beliefs to reconcile that previously held “bad behaviors” are not that bad. They may abandon their belief that the revered leader was directed by God, and therefore, did the behavior outside of his being a servant of God. They may adopt a behavioral approach by reducing consumption of the teachings of this leader. They may walk out of a church meeting when the leader is speaking, or others are quoting the leader. They may remove art or images and books related to the leader from their home. There are myriad ways someone can work with their dissonance to reduce psychological distress.
Most people who are experiencing a faith change are suffering, at least in the beginning. The believing people around them sometimes interpret the suffering as caused by consuming anti-religious materials. Sometimes believing family and friends blame the questioning person and feel threatened by them. This leaves the questioning person feeling alienated.
Therapist’s View of Faith Transitions
As a therapist specializing in supporting people who are suffering through a faith change, I regularly witness their pain, fears, and loneliness. They worry about being portrayed as sinners or lost sheep. They worry about being accepted by their loved ones. They worry about changing their behavior and upsetting those around them. They worry about being abandoned by their loved ones and communities. Clients rarely explore faith changes in order to justify sinful behavior. Clients do not intend to harm their relationships by learning and expanding their knowledge. Clients work hard to preserve their relationships in the face of changing beliefs.
If your loved ones are going through a faith change, please be kind. Please be patient. Please recognize that everyone goes through faith changes; remember how faithful you have been at different times in your life and how your diligence may have waned. Remember the times when you have experienced cognitive dissonance and recognize that it is resolved individually and in different ways. Remember that the people you love are suffering not because of their own sinfulness, but because they are feeling the psychological strain of holding conflicting beliefs and need time and space to reduce cognitive dissonance. Please love your loved ones.
To schedule with a Wasatch Family Therapist to discuss faith transitions, or to join one of our Faith Transitions Therapy Groups, please call 801.944.4555 or follow this link.
Resources For Individuals Experiencing a Faith Transition
There are many resources for faith transitions and coping with faith transitions. It’s important to find material and assistance from those who are trained to help individuals navigate their faith. Here are a few resources we suggest.
At Wasatch Family Therapy, we regularly offer Therapy Support Groups for individuals who are going through a faith transition. Click here to see what is currently available.
If group therapy isn’t for you, individual therapy might be the answer. Follow this link to request an appointment.
This article written by Jenny Hallisey, LCSW answers the question, “Why is Faith Transition so Hard?”
Reference:
Aronson, E. (1997). Back to the Future: Retrospective Review of Leon Festinger’s “A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance” [Review of A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance, by L. Festinger]. The American Journal of Psychology, 110(1), 127–137. https://doi.org/10.2307/1423706
