Things you should NOT share with your Therapist

While it is perfectly healthy and effective in therapy todisclose any personal information about your life to your therapist that youdesire, here are some things you do not want to be sharing with them:

1. SocialMedia Accounts: That’s right. Therapists are bound ethically not to haveany relationship with a client outside of the therapeutic one. Social media issomething you share with family, friends, and co-workers (maybe). You likelydon’t want your therapist seeing everything you post, and your therapist likelydoesn’t want you to see what they post in their private life. This could alterthe therapeutic setting. If your therapist has a professional or businesssocial media account, these are okay to follow, but not personal accounts.
2. Gifts:The therapeutic relationship is a unique one, and for that reason, some clientsI work with feel a sense of gratitude and they want to communicate that. Someclients feel the need to give a gift or “return the favor” in some way. Ialways reassure my clients, the work we do together is not a favor, it is abusiness arrangement and you already paid me. Therapists have an ethicalobligation not to accept gifts from their clients.
3. DNA:Your therapist should never be related to you, even if it isn’t by blood. Thiscomes back to that multiple relationships thing we talked about earlier undernumber 1. People in your family already have opinions about you and a seriousinvestment in you. This would drastically impair their ability to betherapeutic and your ability to feel the comfort of unbias. I would extend thisrule to close family friends or other significant people in your life.
4. Invitationsto personal events: Though many people want to share the exciting and proudmoments of their lives with their therapist, this is best done verbally insession. There is no need to invite your therapist to your wedding, babyshowers, graduation, or any other personal event in your life. Rather, come toyour next session with all the wonderful details you want them to hear about. Theywill be happy to hear about it!
5. Saliva:Yep, we’re going there. For most people, this is well understood. However, somepeople feel very close and connected to their therapist and in rare cases startto develop romantic feelings for them. Under no circumstances should a clientand therapist ever share intimate or romantic relations. For my professionallicense, this boundary still stands if I am no longer seeing the client intherapy. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Don’t even consider this one.There is someone out there who will understand you and make you feel safe thatis not your therapist.

While all of these boundaries were written to the client,therapists have the ultimate responsibility to make sure that healthyboundaries are taking place in their practice. If your therapist has breechedany of these boundaries with you, it is time to have a conversation with them,and likely seek a new therapist.