It’s my first time to therapy, what should I expect?
You’re on the waiting list or maybe you have your first session with your new therapist scheduled. Your friends are doing it or maybe your kids are in therapy or maybe you’re the first of your community to seek out counseling and you’re not really sure what to expect. Here are some common beliefs going into session and what to expect instead:
Belief: “My therapist is going to give me advice”
Well…not really. My job is to help YOU figure out what YOU believe and what you want to do, rather than me telling you what I think you should do. This is because I, like many other therapists, believe that you are the expert on your own life. Let me say that again: YOU ARE THE EXPERT ON YOUR OWN LIFE. What’s right for one person might not be right for another, so my job is to help you figure out what feels right for you. Granted, there are situations where therapists will make treatment recommendations or have to intervene for health and safety reasons, but what we are really curious about is getting to know what’s important to you and helping you figure out what you need. Some clients find this frustrating, some find it relieving, some find it confusing, and all of those feelings are really normal, particularly if you grew up in a society (like the one I did) where we expect professionals to have the answers for us. If this is the first experience you are having where all of a sudden you are supported in determining what you want in your own life, therapy might feel really different and/or uncomfortable and that is a very important part of the process.
2. Belief: “My therapist is going to guide the session”
Sometimes. Particularly in the first few sessions or if you are doing a structured type of therapy such as CBT, DBT, or EMDR, the sessions might feel more facilitated by the therapist, however the effectiveness of psychotherapy relies on the client guiding where the session goes. This way, we stay focused on the things that are most important and relative to you. What this also means is that you are in control of your treatment goals. If you don’t know what those are, that’s okay too. We can help you figure that out.
3. Belief: “Therapy is just for people with mental illness”
Nope. Although therapy is helpful for folx with mental illness, everyone can benefit from coming to therapy. I sometimes have clients in session who minimize their feelings or experiences because they aren’t “as bad” as what they believe others go through. This comparison mindset sometimes leads to feelings of guilt or shame for seeking services. No matter what you are going through, you deserve whatever support you need and want. Sometimes that can be hard to internalize though, so if that’s what you’re feeling, bring that up with your therapist as a starting point. Your experience is valid whatever it is.
So what can I expect then? Every client and every therapist is different and has different ways of showing up in session, but something you can expect is for your therapist to be invested in what you want to work on. You can expect that your therapist will ask you about your goals, your feelings, your experiences, your expectations. You can expect that your therapist will be curious about your underlying beliefs or deeper feelings. You can expect that this person will show you empathy, kindness, and support. Also you can expect to be challenged. You can expect your safety, wellbeing, and health to be prioritized. You can expect a professional who cares about you and believes in your ability to solve your own problems. So, congrats on the first step (it’s a BIG step!) of starting your therapy journey and our team is excited to work with you!
