Ask Alice

Have a question you’d love to ask a sex therapist? Submit questions to Alice@wasatchfamilytherapy.com. Selected questions will be answered in upcoming blog posts. *Ask Alice is not a substitution for therapy- and answers may often include a suggestion to visit with a therapist, since many issues are more complicated than what can be adequately addressed in a blog post.

Today’s questions:

“I don’t really understand how sex therapy works. Do people do sex therapy alone or with their partner? Are sex therapy and couples therapy similar? Is sex therapy just for when you’re having problems, wanting more confidence, or healing Trauma? Finally, how can I tell my partner that I want us to go to therapy together?”

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Great questions.

Sex therapy is for individuals and couples. Some issues are more helpful to address within the context of the relationship, while others are better suited for individual work. If you aren’t sure, your therapist can help guide you through the best approach for you.

Couples therapy often involves work around sex or sexual relationships, because sex can be a big part of relationships, particularly when there is some sort of conflict, but they are not always linked.

Sex therapy can absolutely help when an individual or couple is dealing with some kind of problem. Sex therapy can help with increasing confidence or providing education. Sex therapy can also focus on healing trauma- so yes to all of the above. Just like in any other kind of therapy, working with a therapist can be about repairing large problems, small problems, prevention of problems, education, or just making a great relationship even better. There’s no litmus test for when someone ought to go to therapy. If you have an issue you’d like help with, see if therapy might be the support you need.

If you’d like to attend therapy with your spouse, let them know. Sometimes using words like, “I care about our relationship and think we could benefit by having someone help us work through a few things”, can be a good way to start. Just like home or auto maintenance can help avoid bigger problems down the road, addressing mental health, sexual health, and relationship issues early can help prevent more difficult issues later.

If you ask and your partner isn’t willing, seek therapy for yourself. There are likely things you can work on as an individual that can help your situation.