Battling Perfectionism

As a therapist, I often hear some variation of the phrase “Once I achieve (x), I will finally feel happy” or “Once I am able to balance things, everything will fall into place.” I often hear this idea of being perpetually behind or always a few steps away from feeling finally settled. The interesting thing is, I often have clients feel like they finally achieve those things or check off the boxes and somehow they still don’t feel the relief or happiness they were expecting.

Forms of Perfectionism

Many don’t realize that these ways of thinking often stem from some forms of perfectionism. You don’t have to experience perfectionism in all things to be impacted by it, either. Many people only have perfectionist tendencies in some areas of their lives and not others. You don’t have to experience it in all aspects for it to be part of your experience. 

If you feel like you may be experiencing perfectionism in some areas of your life, you’re not alone and there are some things we can do to help take perfectionism from something that negatively impacts you to something that could be beneficial with a different narrative or in moderation.

Celebrate Progress

One strategy for ridding ourselves of  maladaptive perfectionism is to celebrate progress instead of just the achievement or the end goal. Many times our inner narratives tell us that once we get the good grade, pass the exam, get the certification, then we will finally feel happy. But when we don’t celebrate in between, we often still feel unsatisfied even after the achievement is complete. A way to prevent this is to celebrate the ongoing process. For example, have a “still trying to get my degree” party where your people can come celebrate your continued hard work even if you haven’t finished yet. 

Using Mindfulness

Another strategy to help with maladaptive perfectionism is mindfulness. Mindfulness allows us to stay connected to the present and also has many of its own benefits completely unrelated to perfectionism. Perfectionism trains us to be focused only on the future and sometimes even avoiding the present. Mindfulness teaches us to be in the present moment so we are not ruminating on the past or fixated on the future. 

Therapy Can Help

These are just two of the strategies we can use to help reduce maladaptive perfectionism. Finding a therapist who specializes in this topic and can explore patterns and tendencies with you is another excellent strategy to help you if you find that you are struggling in this area. You’re not alone and don’t be afraid to reach out for help!

If you need additional support, you can reach out to Wasatch Family Therapy by texting or calling 801.944.4555 or filling out this form.