Ask a Therapist: Balancing Adult Friendships

As a single adult woman, I have trouble having balanced friendships. I find that I want more time, more talking, and more emotion than my friends can give. This typically ends up with me pushing friends away. So, how do I have balanced friendships?

A: Relationships are  important for everyone, but it is also important  to find that balance of give and take. Don't feel bad for wanting or  feeling like you need more time with friends because that is a completely natural feeling to have. However, I encourage you to be sensitive to your friends life situations.Invest some of your  energy in hobbies and other things you enjoy so you'll be able to enjoy your own company when friend's are unavailable. Be sensitive to your friend's lives and commitments and more importantly, don't take it personally if you feel like they don't want to spend as much time with you as you do with them.  If this is an ongoing pattern where you are finding that people are pushing you away, you might want to explore the origin of that pattern through therapy.  it might also be beneficial to  reach out and make new friends, so that you can spread that devotion out  to a number of people. If you feel as though you might like additional support we offer two women's groups on Wednesday and  Thursday evenings, and individual therapy. Please contact us if you would like additional information.Sincerely,Haylee Heyn, MFT Intern

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