In Law Etiquette for Young Couples
Have you ever been to a fancy restaurant and felt uncomfortable because you don’t know what to do with the vast quantity of silverware? A quick refresher on etiquette can be helpful in that situation. Similarly, these ensuing tips will help young couples (and all family members involved) in dealing with the uncertainty that comes with having in-laws. I like to call it “In-Law Etiquette.”First of all, it is important to remember that every family is different. We are very quick to label something that is different as “weird,” or “bad.” However, just because something is different doesn’t mean that it is better or worse. It is just different! Branch out and have fun with the differences between family cultures. Also, avoid labeling your in-law’s culture as strange, stupid, or dumb. It can even be healthy to poke fun at your own family culture.Secondly, your in-laws usually have the best intentions to help your marriage. They can be very eager to share their advice with young couples. A lot of this advice comes from personal experiences and can be very beneficial. Although their intentions are good, sometimes it can be interpreted that they are overstepping their bounds. It is important to set boundaries as a couple if needed. Remember, your spouse comes first, even before your parents. Include one another in conversations with both sets of in-laws and recognize that their advice has positive intentions.Lastly, gratitude can really work miracles. Take the time to express gratitude to your in-laws for helping you and your spouse get to this point in your life. Gratitude creates an environment where relationships can be strengthened and defenses can come down. Gratitude leads to understanding and closeness. Write a letter, make a phone call, or invite them over for dinner (don’t just go to their houses). Sending a text message is not good enough. Even if you are given advice that you disagree with, thank the person for their concern and input.Forming a new family is going to inevitably be a time of transition. Enjoy the process. Keep what you want to keep and create a new culture together as a couple, drawing on the strengths from each of your families. Be grateful for where you come from. Both individuals in a young couple bring unique experiences and strengths to a couple. Remember, keep your manners!