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Esteem Building Exercise for Teens

Wasatch Family Therapy
Believing positives about yourself when you feel crummy can be difficult and sometimes feels impossible. This is especially true for teens suffering from Anxiety or Depressive Disorders. Often times, teens, like adults, get stuck repeating or focusing on negative aspects or assumptions about them selves, and are resistant to looking for a more balanced or kind perspective. This constant self-criticism not only amplifies negative mood and behavior, but also makes it more difficult to see those positives that actually exist. To help counteract the negative self bias I hear from many teens I work with, I ask them to develop a “Positives List.”

Unfortunately for most, simply writing down positives is not a big enough step to actually believing those positives. The key step to making this process work is in writing a detailed account (1-2 paragraphs) about when, in the past, they actually demonstrated that quality or characteristic. I usually have them write 2 examples, but sometimes one is enough. When appropriate I also have them add when and how it impacted others or their environment positively. This process requires that they begin to search for actual memories to back up the positive they have listed, rather than just stoping with a word bank. Since the event has already occurred it is easier for the positive qualities to be substantiated.

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Twitting Your Anger is not Treating Your Anger

Distraughtman

Many of our lives are hectic, busy, and can become stressful.  As humans it’s not unusual for us to feel angry at times and want to lash out when our buttons have been pushed.  Some believe that getting their anger out is a form of catharsis and is the best way to overcome one’s negative feelings towards another.

Jeffrey Lohr, a psychology professor who studied “Venting in the Treatment of Anger” said, “Venting may make you feel different in the moment, but the change in emotional state doesn’t necessarily feel better; it may just feel less bad.”  People may vent in all sorts of ways including punching a pillow, blowing up at another person, yelling and screaming, confronting someone immediately after the offense, slamming doors, or using social media as an outlet to rant about their anger.

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