I had the opportunity to collaborate with Margarita Tartakovsky, associate editor for PsychCentral, about self-deception and the importance of being honest with ourselves. It was a fascinating topic, particularly in understanding that honesty, even pain, can lead to growth:
Whether you are consciously or unconsciously aware, your blind spots can keep you from the life lessons you need to learn. A little bit of pain now can prevent you from experiencing a whole lot of it later!
From Lean In to The Female Brain, experts from diverse fields, with varying degrees of success, have tried to empower women to best understand their feelings and behaviors and act accordingly. The Assertiveness Guide for Women, by psychotherapist and clinical social worker Hanks, follows in a similar vein, with the particular goal of helping women improve their communication, set healthy boundaries, and benefit their personal and professional relationships.
It is important to note Hanks’ areas of expertise in considering this book, because they have a significant impact on her approach. Her method is thoroughly imbedded in psychotherapeutic technique and theory, which may limit the scope of its applicability. Indeed, a book that is more concerned with childhood attachment types than the societal obstacles women face each day may not work for everyone.
According to Julie, think of a recent situation where you experienced pain, whether from a physical injury or an emotional one. It might be anything from a fight with a friend to a breakup to someone’s passing. She suggests asking ourselves these questions:
“What did I tell myself about my pain?
Was my self-talk nurturing or was it critical?
Did I validate my suffering or minimize it?
How did I behave toward myself when I was hurting?
Was I able to provide nurturing, comfort and validation to myself?”
Figuring out where to set boundaries and knowing how to set them can be challenging. I recently interviewed Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. Associate Editor of PsychCentral.com about how to handle when someone consistently crosses your boundary.
(By the way, the photo to the left is of me and my dear friend and colleague, Joe Sanok. He actually has very good boundaries but I think it’s such a great picture.)
I know that creating and maintaining healthy, satisfying relationships isn’t easy. However, sometimes it doesn’t have to be as complicated as we make it out to be. The problem is, we often get so overwhelmed by what’s wrong in our relationships that trying to fix it feels hopeless when it really isn’t. If you and your partner are in a relationship rut, click on the link below to read about 3 simple things you can do to get things back on track.
These tips may not fix everything or even get to the root of all your hurts, but they are a great and simple way to start.
Holiday time is officially upon us! While holidays can be a time for laughter, family, and fun they can also bring with them stress for couples. Many couples end up finding themselves arguing and feeling tension, and simply trying to get through the holidays with as little damage as possible. When this happens, it is often because of a few simple mistakes that couples make, which can be easily corrected.
In Part 1 of a two-part series of articles, I contribute to sharing a few of the common challenges couples face during the holiday season, and
We can pretend our painful feelings don’t exist. We can ignore them. And so many of us do, because we think that this will soften the blow. This will help us bypass the discomfort of our hurt, sorrow, agony, anger, anxiety. We assume the feelings will just go away (and they might, but only temporarily).
Click the link below to read what Monette Cash, LCSW has to say about handling painful emotions.
There are all sorts of advice out there on how to improve ourselves and our relationships. Some of those pieces of advice become so popular that we start implementing them across the board. The problem with this is that even some of the most common thoughts or ideas that have been put out there about mental health are not always the most healthy or helpful in different situations. Then, when we try to follow these ideas and they don’t work, we blame ourselves and often give up.
Click the link below to read about some of the most common pieces of bad advice you may be following, and why you might want to think about doing things a little differently.
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PsychCentral recently interviewed our very own Clair Mellenthin, the Clinical Director here at Wasatch Family Therapy. Clair was asked about how she copes with stress, the best part of her job, and her overall experiences being a therapist. Here are a few of her answers: