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The Perfect Gift For The Man In Your Life!

The Manslator- (Women Language Translator).

Until the Manslator can be made Dr. John Lund, popular speaker, author and marriage therapist, has a solution.

Communicate exactly what your expectations are of your partner. Don’t expect them to figure it out or know. It’s dysfunctional to think, “If he really loved me, he would know what I needed.” It is not a sign of inadequacy in our relationship when we have to ask for what we want, it will make our relationship stronger. Frustration comes from unmet expectations. We have greater success opportunities of our needs being met if we communicate clearly and it gives our partner the opportunity to be successful.

For example, when you approach your partner with a problem, let them know if you want understanding or solutions. Most men’s inclination is to help you solve the problem. Let them know that one this a problem you just want them to listen and understand. If your partner does not communicate what they need you can ask, “I’m want to help, but I’m not sure if you want understanding or solutions.”

Communication is made of three components: body language, tone of voice and actual words. In a research study analyzing communication, the experts interpreted the message wrong one out of five times. If the experts are wrong 20% of the time, what does that mean for the rest of us? They were able to reduce the error rate to 1 percent by using content communication.

Content communicating- Say what you mean and hold each other accountable for your words. Ignore body language and tone of voice. This means if you say yes when he asks if he can go golfing then it means he can go golfing, even if you roll your eyes. Or if he says he will watch the kids while you get a pedicure, you go even if he seems upset. Dr. Lund suggests that you try it for a week. When we hold others and ourselves accountable for our words, we learn to ask for what we need if we want to get it.

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The Four Things Children Really Want For Christmas

1. RELAXED & LOVING TIME WITH FAMILY 

Of all the needs of children at Christmas, relaxing memorable time with family is most important.

Questions to ask ourself as parents: *Do I create relaxed, meaningful time with my family in December? *Am I having a hectic schedule because I choose to or out of obligation?

Suggestions for relaxed, loving time with children: *Entertain less, attend fewer adult parties *Simplify preparations (Keep it Simple Sweetie) *Cut back on outside commitments *Travel less, visit less, TV less *Relax about decorations, let children help (Children are more important than things) *Make/Buy fewer gifts *Plan meaningful family time/traditions

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The Gift of Closeness

If you can imagine nothing better than a more loving and secure relationship with your husband or wife, consider giving your spouse the gift of closeness for Christmas this year.

“Hold Me Tight” is an eight-session couple’s workshop based on Dr. Sue Johnson’s book “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” that has helped thousands of couples throughout the world repair, enhance, and grow their love relationship.  You will learn the new science of love, how to fix mistakes and overcome past hurts, and how to create the tender and intimate relationship you have always wanted.

Classes begin January 10th from 7-9 pm

Gift Certificates Available

Space is limited. Register now!

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Gifts of Self: All he wants for Christmas is you

What are you getting your spouse or loved one for Christmas?

Our Director, Julie Hanks, LCSW was invited to contribute a “Love” article for Winter 2010 issue of Latter-day Woman Magazine…

“Finding the perfect gift for your spouse is an exciting part of the holiday season. But fighting crowds to snag one of the latest must-have items and squeezing money out of a tight budget can make gift-giving stressful. While I wouldn’t mind a new iPad under the tree this year, (listening, Santa?) the best gifts are those that don’t require money, but require thought and time and emotional awareness.”

Read my tips on giving meaningful gifts of self…

Read Article online

Download PDF

What’s been the most meaningful gift you’ve ever received, and why?

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