Making the decision to stay or leave your marriage may seem overwhelming in the wake of a revealed affair or other traumatizing event. It’s normal upon hearing that a spouse has been unfaithful to assume the marriage is over and that the love you once shared is gone forever. Both partners may feel highly emotional and perhaps hopeless about their future together. This is a good time to put on the brakes and slow things down. Rushing into a life altering decision such as a divorce may actually compound the problem and prolong the hurt you and your partner are experiencing. Before making any life changing decisions, allow yourself a brief waiting period, somewhere between 8 to 12 weeks, to think things through. Your decision will have far reaching effects for you, your spouse, and your children.
Read through the following questions and share your answers with your partner, a close friend, or a therapist.
- How will my life be different if we get divorced?
- How will our children’s lives be different?
- What first attracted me to my spouse?
- What are my best memories with my spouse?
- What will I miss the most about my marriage?
- Down deep, do I still love my spouse?
- Are my partner and I generally compatible?
- Is my partner a generally dependable and trustworthy person?
- Am I able to explore vulnerabilities in our marriage?
- Am I willing to work on my marriage?
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