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Reflections on Brené Brown’s Book Rising Strong: Dr. Julie Hanks on Studio 5


For this segment of Studio 5, I wanted to change things up a bit and offer my perspective on another therapist’s work. Dr. Brené Brown has become a household name since her famous TED talk a few years ago. To say I’m a huge admirer of hers would be an understatement; the insight she offers about vulnerability, shame, and courage are transforming our culture. This week, I sat down with Brooke to talk about Brené’s new book “Rising Strong.”

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How to Break Into an Adult Clique: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

The word “clique” often has a negative connotation and may bring up feelings of exclusive peers in Junior High, but adult cliques exist as well. It may not be a pleasant word, but the truth is that like-minded individuals often form social groups to discuss shared values, lifestyles, and interests. These groups can be intimidating, especially if you are looking from the outside in and would like to be a part of them. Here are some strategies to break into an adult clique:

1.  Don’t Take It Personally

If you feel like you’re not in the loop with a certain group or you haven’t been invited to participate, try not to take it personally (though this is easier said than done). Remember that people often organize themselves based on commonalities (working at the same company, playing tennis, homeschooling their children, etc.), and if you don’t feel involved, it’s likely not that someone is trying to intentionally exclude you. And perhaps members of a certain clique don’t necessarily feel like they need to expand their circle, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t.

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How To Stay Connected To Your College Age Adult: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

Although your college age child may be grown up and no longer living at home, it’s still possible to maintain that emotional connection you’ve likely been working on for years. But with the new distance and living situation, parents and young adults alike sometimes have a difficult time navigating this transition in their relationship. How can you two be close when things have changed so much? Here are some strategies to stay connected with your college age son or daughter:

1) No Such Thing as “Normal,” Only What Works 

Every family culture is unique in how each member is differentiated, or separate but simultaneously connected. Some like to talk and be together very often, while others are more comfortable being independent. So when it comes to communication between parents and their adult children, there is no real standard of how much you should be talking or emailing; just do what’s best for the relationship.

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5 Common Creativity Myths: LCSW Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5


5 Common CreativityMyths(1)

When you think of the idea of creativity, what comes to mind? A brilliant painter? A famous film director? An acclaimed composer? While those examples certainly are true, there is more to creativity than famous artists and their work. For the purpose of this discussion, the definition of creativity is the ability to make new things or think new ideas, transforming existing materials into something novel and beneficial. Here are 5 common myths about creativity:

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How to Reduce Mom Guilt: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

5 Ways to Reduce Mom GuiltMoms have a lot to do, and we often take pride in accomplishing tasks and checking items off of our to-do lists. But when we don’t achieve what we set out to, unfortunately we can beat ourselves up (this happens particularly during changes and chapter endings, such as summer winding down and kids heading back to school). It seem to be human nature to focus on what we didn’t get done, but focusing on our shortcomings (perceived or real) can lead to great unhappiness and emotional distress. Here are 5 ways to resolve mom guilt:

1) Stop the Cycle of Comparison 

Theodore Roosevelt wrote that “comparison is the thief of joy.” I recently found myself comparing my family’s summer plans with those of some of my friends and wishing that we had done more. Thankfully, I was able to catch myself and simple say, “Stop It!” Social media makes it all too easy to compare our lives with others, but every person and every family is different, and there is something empowering about owning your own life and experience for what it is (click here for a past Studio 5 segment on avoiding comparison).

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End the Mommy Wars: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

End the Mommy Wars: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

We’ve all heard the term “mommy wars.” Originating in the 1980s, it refers to the negative cultural experience of mothers being pitted against each other based on their different lifestyle choices. While there are many aspects of motherhood that could be included under the umbrella concept of mommy wars (breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding, etc.), the most significant dichotomy is that of working moms versus stay-at-home moms. But this framing is no longer relevant, as it doesn’t reflect the creativity and real lives of so many women who have a variety of experiences. Here are some steps to change the way we think about motherhood and end the mommy wars for good!

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5 Ways to Beat Burnout: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

5 Ways to Beat Burnout: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5


Women expect a lot of themselves: a strong marriage, healthy children, time to pursue personal goals and interests, etc. These are wonderful aspirations, but we also need to “get real” or risk burning out.

Physical and emotional burnout is a real problem, particularly in our community. LDS Living recently conducted a survey in which they found that 95% (of 1900 individuals surveyed) reported that they had experienced burnout (specifically in a religious/ spiritual sense). This is an epidemic that is affecting many of us, and clearly, something has to change. Here are 5 steps to prevent and avoid burnout:

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5 Ways To Be an Amazing Mother-In-Law: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

When an adult child gets married, it can be difficult for his/her parents to navigate their new role as an in-laws. I am learning this myself, as my oldest son got married in the not too distant past. Unfortunately, our culture has created a negative stereotype of in-laws (particularly mother-in-laws), but your own experience can be a positive one! Here are 5 ways to be an amazing mother-in-law:

5 Ways to Be an Amazing Mother-In-Law

1) Expect and Embrace Differences A family unit can thought of as a sort of “organism;” it has its own traditions, belief system, and even its own quirks. When a new person enters this family (through marriage), there are bound to be differences. Recognize that there is no such thing as a completely seamless transition, and expect your new son-in-law or daughter-in-law to do some things in a new way. You can learn to celebrate these differences as well! It can also be helpful to talk about family expectations in order to navigate this change.

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How to be a Sex-Positive Parent: Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL’s Studio 5

How to Be a Sex Positive Parent InstagramEven the most confident of parents often feel uncomfortable with the prospect of talking to their children about sex. Most understand that if we fail to talk about it, they will learn about it from media and peers, and that it is our responsibility to do so to ensure that they have accurate information.But still, it’s not an easy conversation to have! And even for those who are brave enough to do so, how can we best help our kids not only know the facts, but also have a healthy attitude toward their bodies and understand sex in a way that will benefit them? Here are 5 ways to be a sex-positive parent:

1) Realize It Begins At Birth

Many parents wonder what is the appropriate age to begin talking about sex. But the truth is that positive attitudes about bodies and sexuality begin from the very beginning. When children are young, don’t be afraid to verbally celebrate and affirm the importance of their bodies. Even during toilet training, take the opportunity to help them notice how wonderful and useful their bodies can be. Kids absorb the messages you send in your tone of your voice and by how you respond to their actions.

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Sex-Positive Parenting Resource List

Sex-Positive Parenting Resource ListMany parents feel anxious when it comes to discussing sexuality with their children. You are not alone. Even the most confident parents may squirm just a bit when a child asks a direct question regarding sexuality that they are not prepared to discuss. Here are some resources to help you and your child navigate the important process of discussing sexual issues. Thank you to my colleague Holly Willard, LCSW for book recommendations.

Books

School-Aged Children

What Every Kid Should Know About Sexual Abuse: A Coloring & Activities Book

What’s the Big Secret?: Talking about Sex with Girls and Boys

The Right Touch: A Read-Aloud Story to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse (Jody Bergsma Collection)

How to Talk to Your Child About Sex: It’s Best to Start Early, but It’s Never Too Late- A Step by Step Guide for Every Age

Puberty for boys

The Boys Body Book: Everything You Need To Know for Group Up You (Boys World Books)

Puberty for girls

The Care and Keeping of You (American Girl)

The Girl’s Body Book: Everything You Need to Know for Growing Up You (Girlsworld)

For Teens

Changing Bodies, Changing Lives: Expanded Third Edition: A Book for Teens on Sex and Relationships

The Sex EDcylopedia: A Comprehensive Guide to Healthy Sexuality, For the Modern, Male Teen

Websites

Helping parents and children talk (Advocates for Youth)

Parents’ Sex Ed Center

Sexual Intimacy is Sacred and Beautiful (Family resource published by LDS Church)

Discussion/Interview with The Mormon Therapist on masturbation

Watch the full-interview here

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