Many of our lives are hectic, busy, and can become stressful. As humans it’s not unusual for us to feel angry at times and want to lash out when our buttons have been pushed. Some believe that getting their anger out is a form of catharsis and is the best way to overcome one’s negative feelings towards another.
Jeffrey Lohr, a psychology professor who studied “Venting in the Treatment of Anger” said, “Venting may make you feel different in the moment, but the change in emotional state doesn’t necessarily feel better; it may just feel less bad.” People may vent in all sorts of ways including punching a pillow, blowing up at another person, yelling and screaming, confronting someone immediately after the offense, slamming doors, or using social media as an outlet to rant about their anger.
Perfectionism, the constant fear of failure and simply “not feeling good enough.” To a perfectionist mistakes are indications of personal flaws and the only way for acceptance is to be perfect. Our high expectations often leave us feeling inadequate and falling short of what we could be. But nobody is perfect at life, nothing is meant to be flawless. When we realize we are not expected to be perfect and that we are here to learn, we are able to develop compassion for ourselves and others.
This perfectionistic trait can easily be passed down to our children because they feel like they are not good enough in their parent’s and their own eyes. Here are some ideas to help interfere with this vicious cycle:
Empathy is the skill to understand the world from another person’s point of view and then to act based on that understanding. It may be hard to believe but empathy starts young. After experiencing a particularly trying day, tears ran down my cheeks. It did not take more than a minute for my 3-year old daughter to grab a towel and begin to wipe them away. This was her way of showing empathy for me, her mother. I was touched by her actions and hoped she would keep this sweet quality forever.
As parents we can assist our children in developing and fostering empathy. Below are six creative ways where you and your child can begin to take the risk together.
I love to crank up music in my car and sing along. I recently realized after pumping the music that my mood improved and I felt less stress. With my children, I noticed how singing and dancing enhanced their mood and helped them release energy. I wanted to research the effect of music on mental health and found out it is even more powerful than I thought.
Author Scott Christ of USAToday College revealed there are significant health benefits of music on both one’s physical and mental states. Here are a just a few ways that jamming out or turning on quiet background music can enhance your mental health:
Self-evaluation can be a good thing when it helps us to move towards a goal. However, there is a vast difference between, “I need to spend more time with my family” and “I’m a terrible mother.” Excessive self-criticism backfires because it leads us to focus on our so-called failures instead of the simple ways that we could progress.
Are you tired of reading relationship books with a few tips and advice that may put a band aid on your marital discourse? Dr. Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations For A Lifetime Of Love, relationship researcher and expert, believes that the attachment bond individuals have with their partners is crucial for a happy, healthy relationship. Just as an infant feels close, attached, and loved when her mother gazes in her eyes, adults have the same need. We innately feel a desire to connect, be loved, depended on, and to feel safe. When the attachment is insecure with our spouse or partner, there is greater likelihood for disconnection, isolation, and distance. Hold Me Tight looks to address that attachment bond.