Positive psychology is powerful! In the spirit of Thanksgiving, and the good reminder we have to be grateful this time of year, I want to share a tip I have seen improve many couple relationships I have worked with, and my own marriage.
We have all heard that an attitude of gratitude benefits us, but what if we specify that focus to our spouse? Anyone who has kept a gratitude journal knows the influential effect it can have on how you see life, challenges or others. I have morphed this idea to specifically focus on the couple relationship.
My suggestion is to keep a gratitude journal for your spouse. Find one thing each day that you are grateful for in your spouse and write it down. Sometimes these things are small and sometimes they are big. I carry around a journal in my purse with me everywhere I go and will write in the journal each day just one thing about my husband that I am grateful for.
I would bet that what has happened to me, and to those that I know that have tried this technique will happen for you. The result is that your whole perception toward this person can change. When you start focusing on what you are grateful for in this person it is hard to have negative thoughts at the same time. It is difficult to be grateful and mean at the same time. It is hard to be grateful and criticizing.
When we are grateful we want to share that gratitude and this is a positive thing for any relationship. I have found that the more I write (and share) my gratitude toward my husband, the more I can find to be grateful for. I would encourage anyone, wherever you are in your relationship to keep a gratitude journal for someone that you want to increase your love for. It is something small and takes hardly any time, but it can completely change how you interact with, and see your spouse.
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