How learning how to compromise can lead to greater satisfaction in life and in marriage!
It all came to me the other day as I walked into my bedroom and noticed that the ten plus decorative pillows that we have displayed on our bed were not arranged exactly as I would have done it myself. My initial thought was, “Ughh, he knows the brown ruffle pillow goes in front of the chartreuse pillow”. I immediately stopped my thought in its tracks and asked myself a few crucial questions. Couldn’t the pillows essentially be displayed in any way and be just fine? Who comes in our bedroom anyway? I highly doubt our 8 month old daughter will mind this discrepancy. Then I asked myself, had I completely over looked the gratitude I could have for my husband’s effort in making the bed and graciously putting the pillows he finds to be so ridiculous and unnecessary on the bed so nicely?
We have all been there… you have your ideal way of doing things and so does your partner. It’s just too bad that those ideal ways of doing things are not always the same. Where does this leave you? You might consider that you have two roads to choose from . . . the road to peace or the road to endless dissatisfaction and continuous arguments. If there was a magic pill for more peace in your home, fewer arguments with your loved ones, and less nagging (yes, LESS of the big N word) would you take it? Well consider mastering the art of compromise as that magic pill.
Ask yourself the following questions and determine if you are facing an issue that you could possibly compromise on:
- Pick your battles, is this one worth fighting? What’s really important to you? Does this really impact your overall happiness and life satisfaction? If your answer is no, should you really be giving it the energy needed to battle the matter?
- How important is this to my partner? While you may prefer something a certain way but your partner is desiring to have it another way, consider why this issue may be important to your partner? Even better, ASK them! If it becomes known that it is very important to your partner, consider backing down and indulging in doing it their way.
- Am I looking at the big picture? In life many of us have lofty life goals. For some it may be a happy marriage, for others a successful career or running a marathon. However, to this day I have yet to put on my life goals list the following: “Ensure proper displaying of decorative pillows on a daily basis”. This issue is not going to impact my overall life goals, nor will it stand in the way of me meeting them if it is not done. Consider your big picture.
photo credit: various brennemans
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