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14 Ways to Make Your Valentine’s Day an Absolute Heart Stopper (& Stunning Sex Starter!)


Want to make Valentine’s Day more than just dinner? More than just Victoria’s Secret? Make it so “spot on” that you want to repeat it next year? Here’s how!

Go for a walk together

Begin this Valentine’s Day early with a brisk walk outside together. Hold hands. Appreciate your relationship.

Take her to breakfast

Go to your favorite breakfast spot for a quick bite (McDonald’s won’t do here). Totally get into the feeling that this is Valentine’s Day. A day of love. A day for lovers. A day for your relationship.

Go to the gym together

Hit the gym together. Make sure that you’re noticing each other. Making eye contact. Being a bit flirty. Tell him he looks awesome. Tell her she is awesome!

Shower together

Once home, and with privacy assured, shower off the sweat from the gym. Appreciate the closeness. The “eye candy!”

Lunch together

After your relationships “close time,” have a nice lunch at home. Make it light and easy. Sandwiches and soup. Perhaps BLT’s and Broccoli soup. I can almost taste it!

Reality Check

Reality check time! While it would be great to spend the entire day together, have a brief reality check. Take care of the business day by handling only the bare essentials. Get the kids home from school. However, while reality does need to happen, it doesn’t need to dampen the day. Make sure and do the following:

Kids Time

Assure that you’ve already got the kids booked at the grandparents for a much needed couple night of alone time. Besides, grandpa and grandma will love the time with the grandchildren. And you’ll love the relationship time. Now, get to it!

Text her

Text her in a way only you can do. Connectively. Tell her how much she means to you. Warm her heart with reminders of how beautiful she is. Be open. Emotionally vulnerable. Tell her how much you’re looking forward to your Valentine’s Day together. Of the romance to follow.

Email him

Send him an email with details only you can share. How much you’re looking forward to seeing him tonight. Of modeling for him the very special lingerie you’ve carefully selected ‘just for him’ (or surprise him!). Leave him wanting for your attention!

Valentine Gifts

Buy each other a gift before Valentine’s Day. Make it something that he/she will remember beyond February 14th. Pick up a seductive bra, stocking, and panty set to blow his male mind. He may want to buy her chocolates. A great outfit. Dinner. But! Don’t be too predictable. She may actually want the gift of his time. He may want the gift of her attention.

Call him

After the gifts are shared, call him. Text her. Thank him/her for the gift. Btw, the sound of your lover’s voice will be a turn-on. Very seductive. I once had a woman tell me that she would call her husband’s office phone just to hear his voice mail greeting. Especially when he was out of town. How wonderful is that! What a great way to connect.


When you’re home together again, Kiss! Not just an obligatory peck. Remember how you kissed when you were first together? Were Newlyweds? It was so good it reminded you of delicious Dove chocolate! Of your favorite dessert. Kiss him like that on Valentine’s Day. Kiss her deeply. Kiss him to let him know that he’s your man. Remember! “practice makes perfect.”

Valentine’s Date

Absolutely go to dinner at your favorite restaurant. Some place very special. Connective. In the Salt Lake City area, try the Silver Fork Lodge in Big Cottonwood Canyon. Great mountain ambiance! Great mood setting. It’s not a time to go to (fill in the blank) evening, e.g., Village Inn or 7-11!

Afterward, go for a drive up the canyon. You’re above the inversion in beautiful, pristine air. Pull over. Cuddle. Touch. Kiss. Talk. Relish in the moment.


Once home, and very alone, enjoy Valentine’s Day (night) sex. You’re with the one you love. Express that closeness with passion. Creativity. No rushing here! Unless you want to. Remember, orgasm absolutely lights up your brain and revitalizes the relationship. You’ll feel closer. Happier. Get busy people! J

10 bonus ideas!

Couple Massage

Schedule a Valentine’s Day couple massage

BBQ Together

T-Bones on the grill are amazing

Day Spa

Give her a spa day. You’re on kid duty. She’ll love it!

Movie Night

Watch ‘The Notebook’ together. Ryan Gosling is awesome!

Snow Day together!

Go Night Skiing at Brighton. Chillin’!

Personal Massage

Give each other a very personal massage. Romantic!

Car Time

Drive to Park City to beat that inversion. Have lunch. Connect!

Morning Sex

His Testosterone level peaks in the A.M. He’s way willing. You love the closeness. Why not get busy!!!


Men put on your ‘honey due’ apron for a day. She’ll (make) love you for it!


Pull out some wonderful couple photos. Reminisce on your relationship. Take a few romance enhancing pics. Lingerie anyone? Be creative. Loving. Close!

Valentine’s Day Wrap

Absolutely make sure that the Valentine’s Day ‘feeling’ doesn’t end at 11:59 PM on the 14th. Plan to make what you started on V-Day a weekly occurrence. Date often. Make Love often. Go to Dinner often. ‘Check In’ often. Make your marriage a priority…every day! Most of all, make it about your partner. Make him feel special. Make her feel desired. I guarantee that if you do it well your closeness will absolutely sky-rocket. Try it. And, let me know when it works!!!

Michael Boman, LCSW is a therapist at Wasatch Family Therapy in Salt Lake City. He specializes in working with couples. Those that struggle with Sex. Children. In-Laws. Connection. ‘Life!’ Contact him today to ramp up your marriage.

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