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5 Common Road Blocks to Couple Intimacy

couple-listening-optimizedWant more intimacy in 2015?

5 common road blocks that could be keeping you and your partner from optimal intimacy!


Work life, parenting responsibilities, maintaining a home, dishes in the sink or a bedroom overcrowded with laundry, these are just a few examples of things that contribute to shaping our environment. Is there anything present or obstacles in your environment that could interfering with opportunities to create more intimacy. Environment can play a crucial role in our ability to focus and dedicate time to growing and nurturing intimacy in our home and relationships.

Relationships are cultivated and sustained through various life phases and each comes with its own environmental characteristics. What does your intimate relationship environment look like? Are you a newlywed with a busy work life? A couple who has just welcomed a new baby? Are you an empty nester? Our environment is a reflection of the world we live in and the world our relationships thrive in, however can also offer certain defining road blocks to intimacy. Are there certain obstacles in your environment that may need some attention and retweeting to allow for a space to connect intimately with your partner.

Time Management

Managing schedules, appointments and activities all involve the art of time management. Carving out time for intimacy with your partner is no different. This is not to say that you must designate a routine time, place, etc. for intimacy in your life, though this does work for some. However, placing intimacy and time for your partner should definitely be placed at the top of your list for things to make time for in your life.

Identifying the importance of intimacy in your relationship

Intimacy is the equivalent of regular exercise and healthy eating in a healthy lifestyle, as it pertains to maintaining a healthy relationship. While intimacy can be defined in varying ways from relationship to relationship, there is no arguing the importance of its presence in a healthy and balanced relationship. Healthy, balanced and satisfying relationships most often include a satisfying amount of intimacy. Don’t neglect to see the value and importance of this element of your relationship. Intimacy is often referred to as the “glue” in relationships.

Understanding how your partner defines intimacy

As you can imagine there can be some significant differences in how intimacy is defined from person to person. Many factors can contribute to these differences. Culture, upbringing, past sexual experiences or absence of, past abuse, individual love languages, spirituality and religious beliefs, amongst other things.

Take time to sit down with your partner to explore what their desires are to feel close and how they define intimacy. You may be surprised that your definition may be very different from your partners. Once you know what your partner desires in order feel and obtain intimacy, work toward incorporating these qualities into your relationship and intimate lifestyle. Understanding the recipe for intimacy in your life is the key!

Emotional Availability

Are you emotionally open to an intimate relationship? Being emotionally available and open to being physically and emotionally close to another person can be a significant contributor to your ability to create and sustain intimacy in a relationship. Emotional blocks can range from isolating yourself from sharing your emotional self in a relationship, to deeper rooted emotional barriers, such as depression or past traumas that may leave you feeling unable to open up emotionally to your partner and allow intimacy to grow. Exploring emotional availability is important in identifying personal areas for growth as well as identifying your openness to the growth and opportunity for heightened intimacy and closeness in your relationship.
Written by Melanie D. Davis CMHC
Are you looking to increase intimacy in your personal relationship? Melanie Davis is an experienced clinician who enjoys supporting couples as they go on the journey of learning and discovering each other and finding healthy ways to develop long lasting and healthy intimate and sexual relationships, both personally and with their partners. For an appointment with Melanie contact Wasatch Family Therapy at 801-944-4555

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