The popular song by Jason Mraz, “I Won’t Give Up” shares an important message of commitment in relationships and the powerful effect it can have. How important is commitment in a relationship? Researcher Steinberg created a model for what makes up love and relationships. He states that relationships thrive when they have a good balance of passion (physical), intimacy (emotional), and commitment. Why is commitment so important? It is hard to fully jump into the passionate and intimate part of a relationship when you do not know if this person is going to be with you or will stand by your side. When there is a sense of commitment there is a freedom to explore the relationship and continue to give more of yourself because you are not consumed by fear of being hurt or abandoned.
What is adequate commitment for a relationship to thrive? That definition is dependent on the two individuals in the relationship. For one couple commitment may be a Facebook status change and for another it may be marriage. Commitment really depends on the people in the relationship and how secure they feel in the commitment they have made to each other.
Some commitment lessons can be learned from this song:
Keep a positive attitude and recognize there will be rough times.
“I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up”
Each relationship will have its share of difficult times, whether it be an external or internal source. We are imperfect humans that make mistakes while we live in an imperfect world. Recognizing that all relationships will face some difficult times can help you prepare and strengthen your relationship during the easier times. This will help you face the difficult times as they come in the future. As with anything, keeping a positive attitude can help you thrive psychologically and relationally.
Be committed to the relationship individually and collectively
“I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake”
Each of us can take an important part in our commitments and determine how hard we are willing to work in our relationships. We can only do our best, but what we can do can be powerful. Additionally, difficulties teach us many lessons that can help us in relationships, especially patience. We each have strengths and weaknesses and recognizing those and using them to benefit rather than hinder a relationship can create powerful positive changes.
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